To Break Up the Monotony

We just finally got a VPN working--only a month before we head home. Oh well. So I thought I'd break up the monotony of the weekly updates with a few pictures of my little man.

He's starting to enjoy tummy time a little bit more!

And now for the smiles...

10 Weeks

My little xiaohair is 10 weeks old! 10 weeks sounds old to me, for some reason. The first half of this week was a little off, but the second half of this week has been great. His off-ness actually helped us accidentally happen onto a new evening schedule that has extended his night sleep. Now I can sometimes get just enough sleep between his dreamfeed and when he wakes up in the morning! With no interruptions! Yippee!

Night Sleep

We'll start off here since I was just talking about it. At the beginning of this week, our routine was to feed him around 7pm, do a bedtime routine (reading a book, singing Amazing Grace), and putting him to bed. Then we would go to bed around 9:30, and I would set my alarm and wake up at 11 to do his dreamfeed. That was painful--waking up about an hour after I've gone to sleep. And it kind of defeats the point of a dreamfeed. Anyway, he was generally waking up hungry between 4:30 and 7am. If it was after 6, I would treat it as his first morning feed and let him be awake afterwards. But it was more often before 6, so I would feed from one side, then put him back down and hope he went back to sleep, then wake him by 7:30 for the first morning feed.

He seemed to be having trouble extending that night sleep much longer than 6 hours, even though I felt like he could go longer without eating. However, this past Tuesday was one of his wake-early-from-naps days. I decided to go with it and feed him when he woke up and see if it was a mini growth spurt. This meant that everything got moved up through the day, and his evening feeding took place at 6. We put him down for bed, and I was planning to let him sleep until 11. But he woke up around 9:30--very uncharacteristic of him. He had worked his right arm out of his swaddle (another recurring theme this week). I went ahead and fed him again and put him back down, and we went to bed. Next thing we know, it's 6am and he's just waking up! I had always heard that moving bedtime earlier can extend night sleep, but you never believe it will work for you. But I can go with that! So we've kept that schedule. He still wakes up before 6 sometimes, and I treat it as a night feed, then wake him back up shortly after 7 to eat again. I then bump his schedule up through the day so that his last feed is around 6pm and he's going to bed by 7, then I dreamfeed around 9:45, and we go to bed and hope for a good night!

Day Sleep

Naps have gotten better by the end of this week, but I've just accepted that they are rarely going to be perfect. Waking early happens at least once most days, and he still often needs to fuss a bit before falling asleep. No big deal.

Swaddling

One sleep issue we've started having this week is with the swaddle. If he wakes early from a nap or in the middle of the night, the most common culprit is a right arm that has worked itself free and then startled him (I'm guessing). I really don't think he's ready to drop the swaddle, though. He's definitely gaining more control over his arms and hands, but they're still jerky at times, and he still has the startle reflex. We use the Summer Infant SwaddleMes. We have aden + anais muslin blankets, but keeping him swaddled in those is hopeless. So, we've started putting him in one SwaddleMe and then wrapping the top part of a second one around his upper body. If we do this tightly enough, it seems to hold for now. The other issue is that he's getting close to being too long for our swaddles, and I'm not sure where I would go about getting bigger ones while here. I'm hoping we can make it with this size and not have to buy new ones before we can wean off the swaddle. (We do also have one Halo Sleepsack with the swaddle wrap, but he's even managed to work his arm through the arm hole and out of that one. It would probably work if I pinned the arm holes shut.)

Growth and Development

Braxon has discovered his voice this week and become quite the talker! It's really fun--we can carry on nice conversations with him :). It seems like he makes a new sound (and facial expression to go along with it) every day. He sometimes lays in his bed cooing for a while before falling asleep, which makes me think he's exploring his voice and enjoying it. Like I said earlier, his hand and arm control is coming along nicely. He absolutely loves his activity gym and could lay batting the toys--and now grabbing them and pulling them and talking to them--for a long time. I give him independent play time in the gym most days while I sit far enough away that he doesn't know I'm there. 

Nursing

Nursing is still going great, not too many changes other than the schedule. I had a nice adventure trying to get a new breastpump. Like I mentioned last week, I had a major brain fart and plugged my Medela Pump-In-Style straight into the wall without a voltage converter. Stupid. It popped and is basically useless now. At least I didn't pay for it--someone gave me a hand-me-down. I managed to find a baby store here in BJ that had a nice website in English and sold Medela pumps. They were way more expensive than in the US, though. So I decided to go with the cheapest one--a manual pump--to tide me over until I make it back home. It was still $50, and the same one on Amazon was only $30. Ah well. I hated the caged feeling of not being able to pump at all. Like many stores here, they do free delivery. So I ordered my pump online and a delivery guy arrived the next day at my door! I can't complain about that part. I've actually been surprised with how well the manual has worked. I get about the same amount as I did with the electric--about 2 oz on a good day (since I pump between feeds, I don't get much more than that and don't want to compromise how much I have for Brax's next feed). And it doesn't take that much longer, since I usually had to sit there squeezing my boobs one at a time to get enough out with the electric anyway.

Outings

We did our first evening outing with Brax in a while last night. Another American professor and his wife had us over for an early dinner, and we brought Brax. He was really fun and interactive while we were there, which was fun for them. He was awake for almost 2 hours straight, though, with lots of stimulation. I could tell he was approaching the edge around 7. We started to leave around 7:15 and put him in the carrier. He fell asleep right away in that, but then we had to transfer him to his bed when we got home. He was not happy about being woken so soon and cried loudly for about 20 minutes. Pete finally went in and rocked him to sleep. Evening outings are hard.

Postpartum

I thought I'd put in a few words about myself. I have been super lucky with postpartum recovery. I did have tearing and lots of stitches (honestly, have you ever heard of anyone who didn't have any tearing? I think that's a false hope we cling to while pregnant. The OB who delivered me even remarked on how roomy and stretchy my vagina was, which I could attribute to the faithful perineal massages and kegels I did. And my baby had a nice small head. But I still couldn't avoid the tearing). That area was painful, uncomfortable, and bleeding on and off until about 7 weeks PP. But the rest of my body recovered fast. I fit in my pre-pregnancy jeans within the first week after delivery. My goal was to stay about 5 pounds heavier than pre-pregnancy for at least a few months, but I haven't been able to manage that here in China. It's hard to eat enough, I guess, and I do a lot more walking and bike riding on a very heavy bike. And I have been doing yoga and other aerobics to get my core strength back and ease the sore back. So I'm back to pre-preg weight, and I'm pretty sure my boobs are at least 5 pounds heavier. I'm hoping I can gain a little back when we get home. I really want to start cycling on my own after weaning, at least, and not return to the HA realm. But I feel great. My biggest complaint is the size F boobs, which mean I still can't fit into a lot of my shirts without looking like a porn star, especially here in China where women tend to be...much less well-endowed. Since I plan to keep breastfeeding until around a year or so, I guess I'm going to have to live with them for a while.

To what do I attribute the easy postpartum recovery--other than luck and breastfeeding, which burns an amazing amount of calories? I think the biggest factor was probably that I kept exercising throughout my pregnancy. And I didn't walk, which is supposedly one of the best prenatal exercises. I did dorky prenatal exercise videos and yoga at home. The advantage of these is that they work your whole body--especially core, back, legs, etc. I really think muscle strengthening exercises help a ton during pregnancy. I never had lower back pain and only had upper back pain at the very end, when everything hurt. And then my body was ready to bounce back quickly. Not that I felt like I was in good shape the first few times I exercised post-partum (I started light yoga about 10 days after delivery and tried jogging within 2 1/2 weeks. I don't recommend that to everyone--I may have been pushing it a bit). I worked up slowly. The sore back I had at the end of every day, after toting a growing baby around all day, was good motivation.

I also only gained 26 pounds through the pregnancy. I didn't feel like I had to eat much more than usual to gain the textbook pound a week after the first tri. And my biggest pregnancy irritation was constant gas pain, which definitely dampened my hunger. But the big take-away: if it's not too risky in your situation, exercise while you're pregnant, and focus on appropriate muscle toning more than cardio. By the end of your pregnancy, walking up a flight of steps will be plenty of cardio on its own! Other than that, I think a lot of how your body reacts to pregnancy is kind of random and not in your control. I expected things to be much harder than they were postpartum. But I had prayed a lot about it while pregnant, with the trip to China and everything, and God has been gracious.

I think that's long enough. We're going for a nice massage later this afternoon to celebrate Father's Day. 80 kuai--about $12--for an hour-long full-body massage! And that's at a more expensive and thus reputable establishment. I'm sure it could be cheaper if we didn't care whether or not the massage parlor would be willing service us--namely, Pete--in other ways.

9 Weeks

This is my summary of Brax's ninth week of life (from 8 to 9 weeks old), which technically ended on Saturday. Woops. I will warn you that it is long and potentially boring :). Braxon turned 2 months old on Thursday--I can hardly believe it, though in some ways it has been a long 2 months (in a good way). I guess he's two-thirds of the way through with being a newborn, if you count the first 3 months as the newborn period.

Babywise calls the first 8 weeks the "stabilization period," so we are theoretically stabilized. Do I feel stabilized? Not really. We have our textbook, perfect-nap, happy days, and we have our crazy, unpredictable days. And we almost always have at least one weird nap each day. But the textbook days are more numerous than the crazy ones. And he's still rarely fussy for no reason, and definitely more often happy than upset.

Nighttime Sleep
Many people do Babywise for the simple promise that Babywise babies sleep through the night early on. This is not why we're doing BW, but we are definitely looking forward to when it happens. And happy about where we are. For the past week or so Brax has consistently slept over 6 hours in one stretch at night, after his 11pm dreamfeed. He even made it over 7 hours a few nights. This means that he has technically eliminated the middle-of-the-night feed. This is wonderful and in some ways totally astounding. In other ways, it presents a challenge, because it means he wakes up in the morning only an hour or two before my desired morning wake time of 7-7:30. I've tried both treating his wake-up time as the first feed of the day and treating it as a night feed and putting him right back to bed afterwards and then waking him at 7:30 to eat again. I'm not sure which works better, as he often doesn't go back to sleep after the 6-ish feeding. Time will tell...and maybe he'll start stretching that night sleep longer anyway.

Naps
Daytime naps are definitely much less consistent than night sleep, which I guess is normal. I think we've gotten pretty good at reading Brax's sleepy cues (usually several yawns in close succession) and getting him down, and he's pretty good at falling asleep on his own. Actually, he's a champ at falling asleep on his own. He cries or makes noises sometimes for a little while, but he always goes to sleep. The inconsistency comes when he wakes up. Some days I have to wake him to feed him within 3.5 hours of the last feed. Other days, he wakes up crying after only 30 minutes to an hour. Those are my less favorite days. I'm then left to figure out if he's hungry or just got roused during a sleep transition, and if I should feed him now or put him off. If he does it consistently for several naps in a row, I usually just go with it and feed him so we don't get our feed/wake/sleep thing too off-kilter and in case he's going through a growth spurt. He seems to have mini growth spurts about once a week if that's the case. I just always hope they're on days when I don't have to go to language tutoring so that I can flex with his schedule and not have to leave Pete to give him a bottle--especially now that I blew up my Medela Pump-in-Style and will be making do with a cheapo manual pump until we get back to the US. (I fault the so-called mommy brain. Why else would I suddenly forget to plug the pump into the voltage converter first?)

Nursing
Braxon is still a champion eater. His pattern is about 10-15 minutes per side these days (around every 3 hours, on average). He stays awake easily while eating now, except for sometimes at the 11pm feed. He's also becoming more efficient, taking fewer pauses while eating than before. I  love hearing that satisfying suck-suck-swallow! I still haven't had any major boob issues other than a couple of plugged ducts in the first weeks :). No thrush or mastitis, though, thank God. I find I really enjoy breastfeeding. And it gives me lots of time to either read or practice my Chinese (using the amazing Pleco app on my Ipod Touch).

Growth and Development
I'm amazed at how much Brax is learning and changing every day! He became much more interested in our faces this week. I think he could stare at us and make faces back all day, which is super fun. I always feel very special when he lights up so much upon finding my face! He also started looking at  me more often while nursing which is pretty cute. He even smiles at me while sucking away sometimes, which of course distracts him from the task at hand. Speaking of hands, he is figuring them out more, as well. He often finds them and sucks on them a bit. And he loves batting his toys in his activity gym and occasionally (accidentally) grabbing them He still loves "standing" and is getting better at holding himself steady. He likes tummy time for about 2 minutes and then starts getting frustrated with it, even though he can hold his head pretty high I often put him on my chest for tummy time, which he likes okay, but then he starts pushing himself forward with his feet and then rams his head into my chin. He continues to grow physically pretty quickly--up to somewhere between 12.5 and 12.8 pounds at the end of this week (our scale is not the most accurate). Judging on the way his clothes fit, most of that must be going into length and not width on him.

Health Concerns
Praise God, the only issue we've faced so far (besides the occasionally gassiness and lots of spit-up) is heat rash. I can deal with that. I've found that daily baths and wiping his skin with baking soda (dissolved in water) clears it  up. He does still definitely favor turning his head to his right side and consequently has a flat spot on the back of his head since we can't get him to sleep with his head to the left. I emailed our pediatrician in CA and she said not to worry about it for now, and she'll check on it when we get back (when he'll be 3 months). Other than that, he has been amazingly healthy considering how dirty his environment is and how bad the air is here! And how his parents are not the most fastidious when it comes to germs (it's just too hard here).

Outings
We ventured out with Brax three times this week. I know that doesn't seem like much, but it's just much harder and more complicated to pull off here, and the air's so bad, that we usually go out one at a time. We've learned that the stroller is no good if we won't be moving the whole time and we want him to sleep, so he comes with us strapped to his dad's front in our baby carrier (we have the little-heard-of Maximom, which has a terrible name but is totally awesome and highly recommended if you are in the market for a carrier!). Pete just can't be still for too long. We've even taken him like that on a bike sometimes--so illegal in the US! He came to church with us on Sunday and slept great until I woke him to nurse near the end of the service (in a corner in the overflow room, not in the main auditorium). We went out to lunch with a couple of professors on Thursday, and he came a slept through the whole thing. Then we went to a clothing market on Saturday and brought him. He was a little fussier this time. We're not sure if he was hot or just tired of staring at Dad's chest We do flip him around sometimes to face out, though his neck muscles are only barely strong enough.  Wherever we go, we get tons of attention from the Chinese. They are not used to seeing white babies, let alone such young ones and being carried in a carrier. The women usually tell us what we're doing wrong (he should have shoes on, he shouldn't be out, he's cold, he should be horizontal, etc.) which Pete understands for the most part. We've learned that giving advice is a way of showing kindness in China, so we take the criticism in that spirit.

I think that's about it for this week. Stay tuned for the thrilling 10-week report in a few days! It's really amazing how important the minutiae of a baby's life becomes to a mom....

A Bloggy Change

I've been thinking a lot about this blog and its future, though it may seem like blogging is the furthest thing on my mind.* I want to keep blogging but find it hard to motivate myself or figure out what to write about without boring you all with gushing about my baby. At the same time, I've been trying to keep regular notes on what's going on with Brax each week, both so I can look back when going through this with my next child and for posterity's sake.

It dawned on me that perhaps I should try combining the two. Yes, this will mean that I will write about things that probably don't interest anyone who doesn't have a baby and may make those of you who want a baby sad or annoyed with how wrapped up in my son I may come across as being (whew, that was a poorly constructed sentence if I ever saw one!). But at least I'll be writing something. And since I'm implementing Babywise with my child and tend to do tons of reading and research in general on what's going on, maybe it will be informative for some. And perhaps those with experience may be able to occasionally shed some light on what's going on--or at least offer some perspective when I get particularly frustrated (like today, when he has refused to nap for longer than 45 minutes).

With all that said, I think this is going to require a blog name change, but I'm fresh out of ideas. Maybe I should name it something in Chinese. But all ideas from the peanut gallery are welcomed.

And I will reserve the right to include updates of the non-baby-obsessed variety. When the mood strikes and the internet isn't being too annoying.

So stay tuned for the upcoming belated 9-Week/2-Month update. You're on the edge of your seat, I can tell.

*Though I may not be blogging much and my commenting on your blogs has decreased, please know that I am still regularly reading. Google Reader is accessible here, but not Blogger. So I can read your blogs easily, but if you use Blogger, which most of you do, I have to go through a whole long rigamarole to get around the Great Firewall and comment on your blog. Something I often don't have the time or patience for.

Pinching Myself

I keep having moments during which I suddenly look around and can't believe where I am. I can't believe that little ole' me actually managed to conceive, survive a pregnancy for 9 months, deliver, and now nurture a beautiful child who's actually growing and developing the way he should. Those are all things that have seemed so far away, grown up, and, well, inconceivable my whole life. Heck, sometimes I still can't believe I managed to snag a great guy, get married, and that we've survived on our own without adults for almost 5 years. How did this happen?

And then, how did we manage to travel across the world and set up a new little life, albeit a temporary one, in Beijing? Am I really smart enough for all this?

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In other news, I'm a bit apprehensive that my little one may be a super early roller and walker. He's already managed to push up hard enough with his feet to fall from being on his tummy, where I had put him for tummy time, to almost on his back. And that was at 6 weeks. I'm not ready for him to start rolling for real! And, even more scary: he can pretty much support his entire weight standing on his legs at this point--with one of us holding his upper body steady, of course. He absolutely loves pushing off with his feet and bouncing--he gets so proud of himself. I'm awfully proud of him, too, but I'm definitely not going to be ready for it when he does start walking. I think he's going to be a super active little toddler. Probably just like his dad--super active and athletic. I guess maybe that will compensate a bit for the fact that he looks just like me.

The rest of the fam is off hiking the Great Wall today. I'm home with the little bean. I've been there before, so I don't feel too down in the dumps being left out this time. The in-laws leave in approximately 70 hours. Not that anyone's excited about being able to finally really settle into this apartment or anything.

One Week in Beijing: Bite-Sized Version

The past week has been a long one, as first weeks in a new place usually are. But at the same time, I feel thrilled that we've made it through and can't believe we only have 9 more to go. I've been dreading this first week here for so long that I feel like it's been a major accomplishment to survive as we have.

A few observations and tidbits about life in Beijing so far:

• They really do have nice weather here. I never believed it because I've only ever been to China in July, which is swelteringly miserable, at least in the east. But it's been in the 70s and 80s and low humidity almost every day--just like California at this time of year (with a little extra dust and pollution thrown in).
• Biking is much faster than walking. Getting more than a backpack's worth of stuff home from the grocery store is still a more daunting task than I'm willing to attempt by myself yet--but at least the trip goes by more quickly on a bike.
• Biking is much scarier than walking. I really need to get better at pedaling and balancing while going really, really slowly when I can't get around the pedestrians I'm stuck behind on a sidewalk.
• Chinese people are much friendlier when we have a baby with us. But they also think we are insane to be out and about with a six-week-old. I want to tell them that yes, we are absolutely insane, and not a good representations of Americans as a whole. And don't worry, we really aren't taking Brax out too much. It's just nice to be able to go out all together sometimes.
• Chinese mattresses are extremely firm. To the point that I have bruises on both of my hips from sleeping on my sides. I say this after all my collective experience of 7 weeks of my life spent in China. Maybe some Chinese mattresses are softer.
• Having a washing machine in your apartment is awesome! Even when you have to hang all your clothes to dry for lack of a dryer.
• I should never, ever go for a jog in a new place without a cell phone. I have a terrible sense of direction and am bound to get lost. Which is manageable in the US, but very different when I can't speak the language and don't even know the name of the building I'm living in, which is one of about 50 buildings that all look the same on Tsinghua's campus.
• I miss cooking. But currently, we only own one pot. We will eventually buy more, but perhaps a few at a time so we can carry them back. And, of course, shopping itself is still a bit intimidating for me.
• Everything would be easier if I could speak a little Mandarin. I will be getting one-on-one tutoring starting tomorrow for 3 hours a week. Maybe I'll be slightly functional by the end of July...we'll see.
• Remote controlled air conditioners are a terrible idea. When the remote stops functioning for an unknown reason, you better hope you left the ac on a decent setting!

That's all for now. I still can't post any pictures, even though I have an adorable video of Braxon smiling. Probably just as well--I know you're all inundated by pictures and videos of adorable babies. But everything takes longer to figure out when you're a foreigner.

Writing from Blocked Blogger

No, Blogger is not accessible from China. Neither is Facebook, or, randomly, Google Docs (even though most other Google applications are available). So I'm writing through...a secret location :). And glad I've kept my name off this blog so I don't mind telling you all.

We arrived here last Sunday night after a long but fairly smooth flight. Braxon slept for about 70% of the trip. Those little airplane bassinets are fantastic, as is the white noise provided by the airplane engine. Our only mishap was when we were changing his diaper the first time in the bassinet and he decided to pee (a common occurrence when changing little boys' diapers, and one for which I am usually more prepared). Then I had to change his whole outfit, and they had just served the plane meals, so my husband was trapped in his seat by the meal tray, and I had to pull the heavy roller bag out of the overhead compartment to find a new outfit. I will also say that I've never wished more that we were using formula. Sure, breastfeeding takes up less space, but finding the time and places to breastfeed in airports and in between flights and airplane meals is a royal pain. And I hate having to wear a sheet over myself. I can't see what's going on down there, and it's HOT.

We are settling in pretty well here. Our apartment is a little more spacious than expected. Braxon finally gave us our first night last night of only one middle-of-the-night waking. I think he was on jet lag the first few days and waking at least twice a night and fussing at different times. Then, two nights ago, he was up almost every hour and hungry. Not helping his parents adjust to a new time zone. So I added another feed to his day yesterday, and he made it for two good 4-hour stretches. Ah, sleep!

I'm afraid my picture-posting days may be on hold for a while. We haven't figured out a way to get the pictures from our computer to this...ahem...secret online portal yet. But Brax is officially six weeks old tomorrow and getting soooo big! He's such a happy baby and gives us beautiful big smiles and coos. Other than when he wakes up hungry or has gas, which is infrequent, the only time he cries is occasionally when we put him down for naps. I think he just misses the company. But even that has been decreasing as I've let him cry it out more consistently the past few days (I didn't want to do it too much before we made it through this big transition, and before he was closer to six weeks old and I was more confident that letting him cry is okay.

Six weeks also means that I'm probably allowed to attempt sex, or so my husband is reminding me. But I'm pretty nervous about that prospect. I had to have my "six-week" postpartum appointment a bit early at four weeks postpartum, and at that point, most of my stitches were apparently still intact. So how am I supposed to know if they're gone by now without checking? And while I stuck my fingers up there with abandon to check cervical mucus and position while TTC, I'm a little more squeamish about "up there" after all the trauma it went through. My doctor still gave me the clear to try sex after six weeks, but I'm thinking eight weeks sounds better. And the in-laws will be gone by then...

Speaking of whom, we just realized that they're staying a week longer than we expected. My husband is not very detail-oriented when it comes to dates. It's going okay with them, and I haven't offended anyone yet (that I know of), but two and a half weeks is a loooong time to have anyone stay with you, even if it's your best friend and you have a huge house. They have been a huge help, though. I really don't know if we could have made it through the past week without them to carry suitcases, watch the baby when we both needed to be out (like to sign up for language tutoring), go shopping for us, clean the apartment, etc. But I will be ready to see them off on May 31 (I know the date now).

Time to sign off. Another fun aspect of our internet is that only one computer can be logged on at a time, and we currently have four people who like the internet around here. So must share.