Friday, May 21, 2010

Is It Really ICLW Again?

My months are really starting to run together these days. I can hardly believe it's already time for the May ICLW! This is such an annoying cliche, but I seriously feel like April's just ended.

If you're stopping by my blog for the first time, welcome. This is the third time I've participated in ICLW, and I've loved it every time--and have always been happy at how it seems to garner me a few new followers (hint, hint).

Probably what you're most interested is my infertility history, so I won't keep you in suspense any longer. My handsome husband and I only started trying to conceive last July--on our third anniversary, to be specific. Which was a highly unfortunate choice, as it's going to make our fourth anniversary be the day that we officially get labeled "infertile."

At the time, I actually had an inkling I would have a little trouble because of my past history of absent periods (which you can read about here). So I ushered myself--perhaps too quickly but still appropriately--into the world of infertility craziness within a couple of months of going off the (so-ubiquitous-but-now-exceedingly-hated-by-me) Pill.

I quickly learned that I had something called Hypothalamic Amenorrhea. My body stopped cycling because it wanted me to have a little more padding before getting pregnant. I'm very, very fortunate in that this is a condition which seems to be fully reversible in most women, though it takes some time and determination--and weight gain. I quickly gained 10 pounds and, last fall, I was thrilled to be rewarded with my first natural period in over six years! I thought, at the time, that a pregnancy would be just around the corner. But I guess ovulation does not equal pregnancy. Who knew?

Since then, I had two 50-ish-day-long natural cycles and one 40-day-long clomid cycle.  I'm currently on day 59 of my third natural cycle. The One Where Absolutely Nothing Happens.

Because I work for a church, I'm on a cheap-o insurance policy that doesn't even cover an appointment with an infertility specialist. So no REs for me at this point. Instead, I'm faithfully going to an acupuncturist, Katy the Needle Lady, and drinking herbal teas she prescribes. And hoping her promise to get my body back in balance isn't empty.

Oh, and I also just gave up on the One Where Absolutely Nothing Happens. I started a 7-day regimen of Provera on Wednesday night to induce a bleed and then go back to clomid. I'm happy to have an acupuncturist who's willing to work with Western drugs, as much as I hate them.

So that's the True History of My Attempts to Conceive until this point. It's a journey I have dreaded for many years, to be honest. But now that I'm on it, I firmly, wholeheartedly believe that it's happening for a reason--a good reason. One that I will, in fact, look back on thankfully, as unattainable as that gratitude sometimes seems to me now, sitting here stuck in the miry heartache. And I also firmly believe that the best is yet to come. [Cue corny Frank Sinatra song here.]


April said...

Good luck in your journey!


EWebey said...

Are you enjoying Katy the Needle lady?
I've been interested in accupuncture lately.

daega99 said...

I'm now singing 'The Best is Yet to Come' in my office (I love Frank Sinatra!).

Your acupuncturist sound lovely - I've been to one who spent every visit lecturing me on pursuing western medicine and after a while I became uncomfortable. I've been going to my current acupuncturist for almost 2 years now and he is absolutely lovely! I now go to him for so much more than just fertility. It has turned into an amazing relationship!


Crossed Fingers said...

I hope your cycles shape up soon and get shorter! I had super long cycles at first too but that was before I knew I wasn't even ovulating! Ugh!

Alex said...

The best is DEFINITELY yet to come!!!

Anonymous said...

The best IS yet to come! Sending you happy thoughts!


KD said...

Thanks for sharing this!! I have HA as well. Still working on the whole weight gain thing. Isn't accupuncture wonderful??? I love it! I just had my first appt recently and i will for sure be back! :)

HollyT said...

Wow, those are long cycles. I thought my 34-day femara cycle was long.

I feared TTC myself as I always thought I'd have problems too. I like your outlook and I think the best is yet to come. I wish you the best of luck on your journey.

Rach said...

Hoping your journey brings you happiness sooner rather than later!! As long as the need is there, your strength will follow.

Happy ICLW!!

Niki said...

Accupuncture is so freaking awesome. I felt like I was floating on air when I was done.

Hannah said...

I believe the best is yet to come for both of us! Glad to read this summary and hope you're having a great weekend!

Missy said...

Hey, that is funny, we also started TTC on our third anniversary in July. Except it was two July's ago, so we are one year ahead of you. It is hard to have the two anniversaries coincide. I'm hoping this year we can just focus on our wedding anniversary.

Krissi said...

So glad you're lovin' acupuncture! I think that's awesome!! Happy ICLW! (#94)

Heather said...

I think the best is yet to come for you. I've never had irregular or absent cycles, but I imagine it to be very frustrating. Good luck with TCM and acupuncture.


Hannah said...

Hi Ceejay,
Just wanted to thank you for stopping by my blog and commenting. Wishing you the best cycle yet. Looking forward to sharing more of your journey.

Patricia said...

I hear so much about acupuncture! I might seriously need to look into it. I hope the best truly is yet to come. Good Luck!


Jem said...

I too believe that we can benefit from both Western and Eastern medicine. Plus a little magic and good old fashioned faith.

Best of luck with your journey!

Happy ICLW!

Di said...

I had to work to gain weight too and it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Good luck with the Clomid!